Opera Van Java Trans 7 Translation

This show is full of ad-lib and improvisation from its casts and guests without any certain scenario. And please keep in mind that the crude jokes sometimes lost in translations and I’m really sorry if my translation somehow made the supposed to be funny show into a lame one.

Koes Hendratmo [KH] (As the Storyteller) : Okay! Thank you very much! Please give your applause to JKT48! I love you too! say it together, I Love You Too!
KH: Welcome to OVJ Live! I bet you were surprised that this time it’s not the usual storyteller. I bet that one day, if JKT48 ever goes to a show somewhere, we could do some selections to see which one of you could also joined as backing vocals. I could see..1..2..3 person, 4 – 10, oh well, each and everyone of you!
KH: Well, JKT48 doesn’t goes that really far you know, only to Japan, Australia, Korea….okay, give your applause once again to JKT48!

[TN : Okay….that’s a little bit went too far]

KH: Okay, today, we have a very special guest from Africa. They came from various places like Zanzibar, Congo, Belgium….that was wrong…, these guys are the experts in animals. But they also really good in playing the instruments, please give your welcome to.. The STMJ!

[The OVJ Main Casts Comedian Team started to play some mashed-up music, started with Smoke on the Water intro]

Andre : Just take my bass guitar, take it! bring it home with you!
KH : Everyone, this band, next year, will become Michael Jackson opening act!
Andre : He’s already in the heaven!
KH : Okay, so the show is cancelled, thank you.
Andre : I love you! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!
KH : We all wants to know, how long have you all been together ?
Sule : We’re still new, we were formed at around 1835, but due to our arts soul, we still look young
KH : Are you telling me that you guys reincarnate ?
Sule : Yeah!
Andre : We were like cocoon, so now…OI!OI!OI!OI!OI!
Sule : What kind of evil possessed you Andre ?
Andre : This is our fans!
Sule : Like hell! these guys are JKT FOUR EIGHT fans!
Desta : JKT FORTY EIGHT!

[The talks on here started to use Javanese dialect AND language so….sorry, I can’t translate it since I’m not familiar with it]

Andre : OI!OI!OI!OI!OI!
KH : Everyone in here agreed that I took the storyteller part ?
Audiences : Yes!
Sule : WAH!WAH!WEH!WEH!WAH!WAH!WEH!WEH! (Mimicking Andre with his xxx48 chant)
Sule : Different! that audience over there are Sulikers! (A mashed-up between his name Sule and Likers)
KH : Okay, so whenever I say “Race in OVJ Live” , you guys says “YAA-EEE!”

[Referencing to his past quiz shows in the 80’s and early to medio 90’s “Race in Melody/Berpacu dalam Melodi”]

Andre : Here! take my jacket! bring it home!
KH : Please tame the audiences there first.
KH : Race in OVJ Live!
Audiences : YAA-EEE~
Sule : Now see, the storyteller have done his speech, now it’s okay to WAH!WEH!WAH!WEH!
Sule : There you go! that is much better, you guys not overlapping the casts, think this as a take and give between the audiences and the casts

[Javanese again and continues with..]

Parto : So, you are the storyteller, where’s your costume ?
KH : Well this one !
Sule : What costume should he wear ? Gavan ?
KH : Well, I think I need a storyteller costume, this isn’t right for a traditional storytelling
Sule : Where is his costume guys ?
Sule : Well, here, use this blankon
Parto : Yes, symbolic
Sule : Let’s start the ceremony to give this blankon to him (Ended up with the blankon goes to the audience instead of KH)
Sule : WAH!WEH!WAH!WEH!
KH : Thank you! so now I’m officially become this show storyteller tonight! OVJ LIVE!!
Audiences : Yaa-Eee!

[Shows continues with Sinden, think of it as the Indonesian Enka-like singing, using modern-pop Gamelan arrangement rendition of Utada Hikaru – First Love]

KH : Hello~
KH : OVJ Live tonight will perform a stage with the title of “Sulemoto ~ The Magical Samurai”
KH : Let me read on the synopsis, OVJ Live tonight will perform a stage with the title of “Sulemoto ~ The Magical Samurai” !
Sinden 1 : Err..that was the title dear Sir, it’s the synopsis now.
KH : Okay, so that was the title! now the synopsis…..which one is it ?
Sinden 1 : The storyteller is such a flirty! You ask her with the intention of getting close to her right ?
KH : Once upon a time..Iwako Peyek lives with his daughter named Mimitsutsu (A play on “Mimik Susu/Drinking Milk” that a child usually said when asking for instant milk or breast-feed milk) in a very modest house. Their peaceful live was disturbed by the coming of Asuka Brondong and her Ninjas that came for collecting the debt the family owned. They already knew that Iwako Peyek doesn’t have the money to pay for his debt, they then kidnapped Mimitsutsu to be sold as a slave. Can Iwako save his daughter ? Now let’s enjoy the stage!

[Andre and Melody on stage]

Andre : OI!OI!OI!OI!
Melody [As Mimitsutsu] : ‘Sup dad ?
Andre [As Iwako Peyek]: JKT, JKT.
Mimitsutsu : Yay! JKT!
Iwako : JKT!
Mimitsutsu : Papa, when will we move to a better house ?
Iwako : PAPA ?? Call me Big Bro Darling please !
KH : You are the DAD! PAPA!
Melody : Papa! Papa!
Andre : Why am I being the dad ? well, at least give me the part as her boyfriend!

[TN : Remember, the show doesn’t have any rehearsal or any scenario at all, it’s all ad-lib]

KH : This is a flirty Papa
Andre : OI!OI!OI!OI!OI!
KH : Okay, continue the story!
Andre : As the storyteller said then..

Mimitsutsu : Papa…
Iwako : Whut ?
Mimitsutsu : I wanna move from this house Papa..
Iwako : Wait, I’m still confuse having you as my daughter, for as long as I know you, what the hell is your name ?
Mimitsutsu : That uncle over there (the storyteller) said my name many times in the past Papa.
Iwako : ‘Kay, what’s your name ?
Mimitsutsu : Race in….. MELODY!

[Referencing to KH past quiz shows in the 80’s and early to medio 90’s “Race in Melody/Berpacu dalam Melodi”]
[The quiz theme song played in the background]

Andre : Well, Melody is her real name right ? I meant her character name in this stage
Melody : Ah! that’s right!
Andre : What’s her name again storyteller ?
KH : Mimi~tsutsu~!
Andre : Say what ? Mimik Susu (Drinking Milk) ?
KH : Mimi~tsutsu~!
Andre : Ah that ? Mimi~tsutsu~!
Melody : Aw no Papa, just Mimitsutsu is fine.
Andre : Any other name ?
Melody : Nope
Andre : Like Mimik…mimik.. bajigur (sorry…I don’t know how to translate this joke)

Iwako : My dear daughter, Mimi..
Mimitsutsu : Yeah Papa! I wanna move from this run-down house…
Iwako : You have to be grateful my child, This is not a run-down house, this is soon-to-be collapsed one.
Mimitsutsu : Yeah! that’s what I’m saying! we have many leaked roof! what if it cause some flood!
Iwako : You have to understand my child, Papa is having so many debt that in the end we have to sacrificed many of our property..but..even though this such a soon-to-be collapsed house, we have to be grateful that this is our own house…. ♫ IT’S MUCH BETTER HERE! HERE IN OUR OWN HOUSE! ♫

[Andre starts to sing “Rumah Kita” A song popularized by one of Indonesian veteran rock band “God Bless” in 1988]

Andre : OI!OI!OI!OI!
[Andre looking at Melody and making gestures as if telling her “Well..that’s your fans alright”]
Andre : Well, it’s as usual Mr.Storyteller
KH : Yeah I know, but please refrain from asking the audiences to sing more lines than you, I can get your wage slashed you know~
Andre : Ah yes yes..

Iwako : My child, you’re my only hope. Even though I don’t have anything else left, but for me, you’re the only treasure for me that can’t be judged by any amount of money.
Mimitsutsu : Really Papa ?
Iwako : Yeah, ciyus ? Miapah ?

[TN : Okay….joke lost on translation…, “Ciyus” is the childish way to say “Seriously ?”/”Miapah ?” is the childish way to say “For real ?” and usually said by teenage girls to looks cute and ended up being a joke for some people to mock those trying-so-hard-to-be-cute girls. JKT48 members, especially Ochi, usually use this “Ciyus” as a joke on her Twitter timeline. And you could see Melody’s reaction when she heard that “Ciyus” to imagine how general public think of that “Ciyus”]

Mimitsutsu : Mie Goyeng~

[TN : A reference to the ever-known Mie Goreng , said with that childish tone like above and replacing “R” with “Y”]

Iwako : Mie Goyeng ? aw…Mie Goyeng shucks~
Mimitsutsu : So what kind of Mie do you want Papa ?
Iwako : Street vendor one~
Iwako : I’m in really deep debt, so I really want to ask for your help right now
Mimitsutsu : What kind of help Papa ? I really don’t have much and I usually asked for money from you Papa
Iwako : Well, you’re good at singing, why don’t you join JKT48 ?
Mimitsutsu : I wanted to!
Iwako : Here’s the song!

[Andre singing Heavy Rotation…kinda]

Andre : OI!OI!OI!OI!
Andre : You hooligans!

Iwako : Well, that’s the story. So..will you help me ?
Mimitsutsu : Okay
Iwako : Truth to be told, I’m kinda afraid right now, in no time, the debt collector will come for me
Mimitsutsu : Why do you opted for a debt ?
Iwako : That’s the loan shark fault! why would she gave me an opportunity for a debt!
Iwako : There she is..

Iwako : Greet them my child
Mimitsutsu : Who is this Papa ?
Iwako : Newly wed pair
Iwako : Newly fucked up wed pair

Iwako : Oi, you’re a guest, so use the door will ya
Azis [As Ninja A] : Spada~
Iwako : No need for voyeurism…
Iwako : Use the door-bell
Nunung [As Asuka] : Beep~
Iwako : Who is it ?
Ninja A : N-N-No need for voyeurism!

Ninja A : This is must be his house! Let’s press the door-bell
Ninja A : B-B-Beep~
Iwako : Oi! I don’t remember having a stuttered door-bell!

[TN : Referencing to how Azis aka Ninja A have some trouble speaking due to stutter/stammer, remember that they’re comedians and sometimes do this kind of rude joke to each others]

Iwako : B-B-Beep~ , it should be BEEP~ JUST BEEP~
Ninja A : S-s-sshut-up! I-I-I’m d-different than yours.., B-B-Beep~
Iwako : My child, open the door
Mimitsutsu : Okay Papa, who is it ?

[Mimitsutsu opened the door]

Mimitsutsu : Scary~~
Iwako : Come on in~
Ninja A : Are we really that scary ?
Asuka : Get out!
Ninja A : Get out!
Iwako : Come in!
Asuka : Get out!
Ninja A : Get out!
Iwako : Come in!
Ninja A : Get out!
Iwako : Come in!
Asuka : Can I come in!
Iwako : Can you get out!

KH : Stop! Stop! who the hell is the guest ?
Asuka : I Dunno!
Iwako : They are!
Asuka : Both of us are outside, so who is the guest ?
Ninja A : Who the hell are you!
KH : I’m the storyteller! Why were you even asking that! look at how small this sarong is!
KH : Okay, so you (Iwako) get out, and both of you, come in

Asuka : [Looking at Ninja A holds Melody hand] No no no, you were my past~
Ninja A : S-S-Spada~
Iwako : I’m here to collect your debt! Where’s the money you wanker!
Asuka : Gimme back my money!
Iwako : Kick his ass!

[Nunung started to abuse Azis]

Asuka : When will you be able to pay me back huh!
Iwako : Pay her back!

Azis : The hell with this story ?
Andre : Whut ?
Azis : Who the hell is the ninja ? why you ?
Andre : Who is the one with the debt ?
Azis : You!
Andre : Then why I’m the one asking for your debt ? change position!

[Nunung switch places also]

Asuka : Pay me back!
Iwako : Pay her back!

[Desta as Green Samurai on Stage]

Desta : Hello~~

[Desta started to sing “Seberkas Sinar” by the late Nike Ardilla, released at 1989 then suddenly and creatively mashed-up with “Rumah Kita” by Andre]

Andre : OI!OI!OI!OI!
Azis : One more song ?
Nunung : ♫ Suck it, suck suck, suck it ♫

[TN : Well…her song phrase “Nyot, Nyot di kenyot-nyot” really have some ambiguous meaning with uh…..well…foreplay..with a woman pointy part on their breast…using your mouth…and teeth..OR babies sucking their pacifier]

Desta : Melody, come here, sing with her~

[Melody doing that…]

[Sule as Sulemoto on stage]

KH : Wait wait, the storyteller is confused now
KH : Why does everybody is on stage now ?
Azis : Uh…’scuse me, who are you really ? [Pointing at the storyteller]
Andre : Storyteller!
KH : I’m the storyteller, can’t you see my costume ? this extra small costume that makes me hard to even walk down the stairs ? look!
Andre : Well, let’s just continue on then, so they kidnapped my daughter ?
KH : Okay, so let’s continue on, Can Iwako saves his daughter ? Don’t go anywhere, stay tune on OVJ Live!
Audiences : Yaaa-Eee!

[Shows break with Sinden singing “Bagaikan Langit” by Potret]
[Shows starts again with Sinden singing the extremely popular and everlasting “Kokoro no Tomo” by Itsuwa Mayumi that have spawned countless of cover version including this one]

KH : Iwako then went to Sulemoto’s house, a very renowned Samurai at that time, but then suddenly one of Asuka’s Ninja came to finished Iwako. Sulemoto and his daughter, Yukita Goyan (A play on “Yuk, kita goyang”/”Shake that booty”) then protected Iwako, can they save Iwako ? let’s enjoy the stage!

[Nabilah as Yukita on stage]

Sulemoto : You’ve been surrounded!
Yukita : I’m in the middle of my crying!
Sulemoto : Why are you crying ? I want you~

[Sule starts singing a very screwed-up Heavy Rotation and mashed it up with Sundanese]

Sulemoto : Well, come here my daughter, stop crying okay
Yukita : But, papa, look, I hurt my own hand when trying to learn a new sword move.
Sulemoto : Lemme look
Audiences : BOO~~
Sulemoto : Daughter, Daughter, Daughter~ (Trying to say to the audience he holds Nabilah palm as his capacity as a Dad)
Sulemoto : So you hurt yourself with your own sword ?
Yukita : Yeah..I feel not really confidence with my self now..
Sulemoto : That’s okay, you’re not a Dangdut singer, so you really don’t need any confidence at all
Sulemoto : Let it go, if you training for your sword path, you may not cry, keep fighting, smile you don’t cry (That’s Sule’s Motto)

[Sule starts singing that Smile You Don’t Cry]

Sulemoto : My child, I heard that you were in a show in Japan a couple of months ago
Yukita : Says who ?
Sulemoto : I know about it
Yukita : From whom ?
Sulemoto : From the Internet!
Yukita : You know internet ? You don’t even have any Twitter account!
Sulemoto : I have it! @newsuleprikitiw
Yukita : @newsuleprikitiw ?
Sulemoto : Yeah, that’s the new one
Yukita : Why you don’t also make one for me ?
Sulemoto : I’ve made one already for you, but you let it hacked by someone [TN: True Story (?)]
Sulemoto : Okay, no more crying alright ?
Yukita : Yes Papa.
Sulemoto : So, show me your moves when you were in Japan
Yukita : How ?
Sulemoto : How ? well, you’re the one who sang back then right ?
Yukita : Who said I can sing ?
Sulemoto : Oh that’s right! I have a present for you!

[Sule open his headbands and it turns out to be a very tacky tiger strip hot pants]

Yukita : I’m still a kid! why would I wear that Trio Macan thing ?
Sulemoto : I’m a big fans of them you know
Sulemoto : C’mon, you still remember the move right ? we can combine the song with your sword play
Yukita : What’s the connection between the song and sword play ?

[Sule gave Nabilah a sword]

Yukita : So this is the microphone ?
Sulemoto : No~ that’s the sword
Yukita : Well, I’m just saying~
Sulemoto : No need to say it, it’s a real sword
Yukita : Okay~
Sulemoto : Then try it!
Yukita : How? I’m confused!
Sulemoto : Confused ?
Yukita : Yeah!
Sulemoto : Hold my hand then
Audiences : Boo~
Sulemoto : Y’know, I really love that JKT48
Yukita : But Papa, what is JKT48 ?
Sulemoto : Well, they are the young women generation that..
Yukita : Azeeeeek (Azeek, a play on “Asyik!”/”Cool!”)
Yukita : They’re cute right ? cute right ?
Sulemoto : Yeah, compared with your dad, they are cute
Yukita : Y’know, I’m a big Nabilah fan!
Yukita : She’s the cutest and funniest one!
Sulemoto : Nabilah is my daughter y’know~
Yukita : Your daughter is Yukita Goyan!
Sulemoto : Come to Papa~
Yukita : NO! I don’t want a Papa like you!
Sulemoto : Why are you being like that, you’re my step daughter right
Yukita : So where did you find me ?
Sulemoto : Yesterday, there’s an old lady with her baby, then I asked “Ma’am, whose child is this?” , she answered with “My Child”, then I said “She’s so adorable, can I be her step dad ?”, then she said Okay, I pick you up.
Yukita : Pick? Then you throw me?
Sulemoto : Well No! I sang you a lullaby [Singing a lullaby]
Yukita : Wait wait, Yesterday?? No way I grew up that fast!
Sulemoto : Yes way, you ate like there’s no tomorrow

[TN : Sorry, I’m not really sure what he’s saying there, ate like or ate something]

Sulemoto : Well come on! I wanna see you play your sword. I know you are incredible Yukita Goyan
Yukita : Just be careful, I don’t wanna see you killed by this sword
Sulemoto : Well don’t, if I die, who will be your dad ? Come to Papa~
Sulemoto : Come to Papa~
Yukita : NO!
Sulemoto : C’mon, when you were still a snotty brat, you really loved me.
Sulemoto : COME TO PAPAH~
Yukita : Over confidence!
Sulemoto : Anyway, where’s your mom ? yesterday she was fishing, don’t tell me she already drowned.
Yukita : My real mom is there with the audiences
Sulemoto : Your mom in this story
Yukita : Well, I’m your step-daughter right ? how am I supposed to know who my mom is ?
Sulemoto : Yeah yeah, I’m always in the wrong when talking to ya…
Sulemoto : See me as an example (took a sword)
Yukita : Your sword is so small Papa

[TN : Nabilah, that was an ambiguous statement to every man on earth . Well can’t be helped, she’s only 12 and a complete innocent girl ]

Sulemoto : Fishing Mak Erot!

[TN : Mak Erot was a late legendary shaman that said to be able to uh…increase one….”p-sword”…size…using uh…bamboo tube..]

Yukita : That’s not how you use the sword Papa
Sulemoto : Okay, So I will teach you now

[Sword Lesson]

Yukita : Err..this is looks weird, it shouldn’t be supposed to be like this!
Sulemoto : Well this is called Kucing-Kucing! (A play on “Kuda-Kuda/Stance”, Kuda = Horse, while Kucing = Cat)
Sulemoto : This one is Kuda-Kuda, and this Kucing-Kucing, Nyaaarrr!

[Swinging Sword, Nabilah followed]

Sulemoto : Smart girl, Come to Papa~
Yukita : NO! Having a Papa like him really urgh~
Yukita : I’m tired he always make a move on me everyday, I mean, Look at his face!
Sulemoto : You shouldn’t judged me by my face, you should judge me by how an asshole I am.

KH : Stop! Stop!
Sule : WHO ARE YOU!
Sule : Storyteller… is it over ?
KH : Not yet, but in no time, there’s someone who will come here to ask for your help, his name is Iwako
Nabilah : Papa, who is this person ?
Sule : Storyteller
Nabilah : Storyteller who ?
Sule : The storyteller in here, he was this “Race in Melody” guy, you were not born yet at that time.
Sule : He’s a legend!
Nabilah : I see…

[Andre as Iwako on stage]

Sulemoto : You know how much a fans Papa with JKT48, while this guy over here, he loves Cherrybelle (JKT48 rival in the industry)
Iwako : Do you know who I really am ?
Yukita : Nope! Are you famous ?
Sulemoto : You really don’t know ? He is really famous even in after-life!
Sulemoto : Who are you ?
Iwako : Tadaaa~
Yukita : Papa, isn’t this the garbage scavengers who came to our house yesterday ?
Sulemoto : No he’s not
Yukita : Yeah yeah, yesterday..
Sulemoto : Yestekhday, yestekhday what yestekhday

[TN : Sule mocking Nabilah lisp, she can’t pronounce “R”]

Yukita : Papa! You should be grateful having a daughter like me!
Sulemoto : I really am grateful! (Starting to hug Nabilah)
Yukita : I don’t want a Papa like you!
Sulemoto : Come to Papa~
Yukita : NO!

Sule : Truth to be told…to play a dad character with her really gave me spiritual conflict
Andre : Why ?
Sule : I really honestly do want to be her father but she doesn’t want to!

Iwako : I heard that thou are indeed the flat-face warrior
Sulemoto : You’re wrong dear sir, Google it please. I’m not the flat-face warrior, I’m the dent-face warrior!
Yukita : You’re not dent-face warrior, you’re the no-nose warrior! (Voldemort Ladies?)
Sulemoto : Huh ? Don’t be like that to Papa, COME TO PAPAH~
Yukita : NO!
Sulemoto : This child o’mine!! Really!!
Iwako : That is your dad!
Yukita : Do not want!
Iwako : But that’s how the story line is!
Sulemoto : Yukita..Yukitaa..
Yukita : Just Yuki please, leave the ta out.
KH : There’s a NINJA!
Sulemoto : Danger ahead!
Iwako : Help me Sir! Those Ninjas are looking for me!
Sulemoto : Hide! Now!
Sulemoto : Help him Yukita [Looking at Iwako] , don’t hide there..
Yukita : You’ll be easily find! Oops, My sword!
Yukita : Hide! Hide!

[Parto as Ninja P on stage, knocking on the door first….]

Sulemoto : My child Yukita, here, here, come to papa~
Ninja P : Oxygen please!

[Parto open his mask]

Audiences : ARIEEEL!

[TN : Ariel is a very well-known singer in Indonesia that were in a sex-tape scandal a few years back ago in which Parto is really good at mimicking him]

[Parto starts singing Ariel’s band, Noah, hit song. “Separuh Aku”]
[Cindy,Ochi,Kinal,Rica and Delima were in the shot for almost 10 seconds or so, good job Cameraman!]

Andre : You guys awesome!

[The play starts again with Parto wear his mask wrongly that it looks as if he is wearing a hijab]

Sulemoto : Hi~, Miss Endang~
Ninja P : It’s so hard to open this!
Sulemoto : You’re doing it wrong
Yukita : Please sit down first Ma’am

[Pushing Parto and ended up with him fall flat to his ass ]

Sulemoto : Sir Ninja, I’m really sorry for what my daughter have done to you.
Sulemoto : Yukita, don’t ever do that again to someone older than you, COME TO PAPAH~
Yukita : NO!
Sulemoto : Sir Ninja, just open your mask, yeah yeah like that.
Ninja P : I’m a Ninja
Sulemoto : Yes Mr.Obvious
Sulemoto : Why are you here anyway ?
Ninja P : Where’s my sword ?
Yukita : Here you go
Ninja P : I’m a Ninja and I’m looking for Iwako!
Iwako : Sulemoto Sir, Here’s the Ninja that I told you about! Help me!
Sulemoto : Relax, why are you go after Iwako ?
Ninja P : I don’t know Sir, the writer told me to go after him

[Andre falls down due to the Styrofoam property couldn’t handle his weight anymore and ended up with him blaming the storyteller]

Ninja P : I got you now!
Iwako : Who are you!
Ninja P : Ninja!
Sulemoto : My daughter
Yukita : Yes
Sulemoto : Kick that Ninja’s ass!

[Yukita thrusts her sword to Ninja P stomach]

Ninja P : How could you ♥!

KH : Okay, let’s see how this story will e..

[Andre falls down and again, blaming the storyteller for his own misfortune]

Parto : Storyteller should be refined and not doing that kind of pushing the casts down. Shake hand, shake hand

[Parto falls down due to the storyteller certain “fault” again]

KH : *While holding that big sword* OVJ LIVE!
Audiences : Yaaa-Eeee!

[Shows break with Sinden singing “Damai” by Wayang, another 90’s bubblegum pop entry]
[Shows starts again with Sinden singing “Kita” by Sheila on 7, a late 90’s entry]

[Parto and KH announcing there’s something in the box as a present to a lucky audience]

KH : So Sulemoto and his daughter Yukita Goyan able to capture Tiadamuda (Dat Ninja P name I guess..) and now looking for Asuka to exchange Mimitsutsu with Tiadamuda. Let’s go to the stage!

Asuka : Thanks a lot for helping me. I really didn’t expect that you turned out to be such a gentleman.

[Parto casually walking on stage]

Parto : Mas Koes, I’m gonna talk to you later on, Wanna go backstage first to cool down my old hip~
Azis : Can you do that NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAGE ?

Ninja A : It feels like ages ago we spent the minutes together like this, just the both of us~
Ninja A : I felt l-l-like there’s something electrocutes me here
Ninja A : In between longing for you and scared of you
Asuka : What are you afraid of ?
Ninja A : Don’t touch me please..I feel bad..but I actually want it..
Asuka : It looks like we’re in Japan right now, so many cherry blossoms
Ninja A : Yeah
Asuka : You told me that you wrote a song for me
Ninja A : After I see all this cherry blossoms, I w-w-wrote a song for you.
Asuka : Sing it for me~
Ninja A : Here you go
Asuka : Oh, the title is “Sakura”
Ninja A : Let’s sing it
Asuka : ♫ A note of love blossomed between us ♫

[Both of them started to sing “Sakura” by Fariz RM which was released in 1980]

Asuka : Are you really wrote this song ?
Ninja A : Hah! relax, I no longer scared, besides I’m sure your husband won’t be here in any time.
Asuka : -laughing-
Ninja A : What ? Relax, he won’t come. Even if he is here, I will face him myself!
Asuka : You sure ?
Ninja A : He’s just tall! that’s all he’s got!
Asuka : Really ?
Ninja A : Both of us ate rice! What I should Afrai..

[Asuka aka Nunung real-life husband behind him]

Parto : Use this to hit his face
Nunung : What’s the matter dear ? I do this only to ensure we have enough money for this month.
Azis : Sorry sir , s-s-sorry, that was just an a-a-act.

[Parto came in and push Azis aside]

Parto : The hell were you doing sleeping there ?
Azis : Sleeping ? You pushed me!
Nunung : Can you repeat that again Parto ? the way he fell were really amazing back then
Azis : NO!

[Melody on stage]

Melody : I’m a hostage ♥~

Asuka : You know! I’m really in a big financial loss having you as my hostage. You ate way too much!
Mimitsutsu : But I’m not fat dear auntie
Ninja A : Don’t ever say that word again
Asuka : I’m not fat!
Ninja A : She just merely wide!
Mimitsutsu : -Laughing-
Asuka : You are a hostage! you should be sad, not smiling and laughing like that!
Mimitsutsu : Okay, I’ll try to act sad now
Asuka : CRY!
Mimitsutsu : -crying-
Ninja A : -comforting Melody and stroke her hair-
Asuka : -kicking a supposed to be soft Styrofoam well-

Nunung : That was a HARD one! My leg feels numb!

Asuka : Do you know that I’m MAD right now ?
Mimitsutsu : I swear I don’t know auntie..
Asuka : What’s with the “Auntie” ?
Mimitsutsu : Eh? So what should I call you Auntie ?
Asuka : Miss!
Mimitsutsu : Okay, Miss then
Ninja A : Miss ? that’s way too good. It should be “Hag”.
Asuka : You..you..it’s even less than 5 minutes ago you told me how much you love me and now “HAG” ?
Ninja A : How could I love when your real-life husband take his stance like this -mimicking Nunung’s Husband-
Asuka : It’s just a gimmick you know, I’m free to love anybody~~ , STOP SMILING!
Mimitsutsu : Okay~
Asuka : You know what that means ?
Mimitsutsu : Nope
Asuka : So what is her function here ? just for hostage exchange ?
Mimitsutsu : Eh ? What am I being exchange for ?
Asuka : For some stuff…well exchange with another hostage!
Ninja A : You really make us loss financially, you destroyed 5 beds! Here come with me!
Mimitsutsu : Should I enter the well ?
Ninja A : No, it’s way too deep, and it’s summer now so there’s no water in there.
Asuka : Move the well if it’s empty
Ninja A : Look, there’s simply no water there.

[Sule, Desta and Parto enter the stage]

Sulemoto : My daughter, come to Papa!
Mimitsutsu : You’re not my dad!
Sulemoto : You wretched, release her at once!
Asuka : -creepy laughing and ended up spitting on Ninja A-
Asuka : Who do you think you are ? release her ?
Sulemoto : If you don’t release her….

[Started to sing that certain ambiguous song]

Sulemoto : Come to Papa~
Mimitsutsu : You’re not my dad!
Green Samurai : He’s not your daughter!
Sulemoto : Didn’t my part here to be her father ?
Asuka : NO!
Sulemoto : If you don’t release her then I’m sorry.. you’ll have to face….HIM (pointing to Green Samurai Desta)
Green Samurai : You dare to face me ?
Asuka : If you want to face me then do that over…HIS…dead body (pointing to Ninja A Azis)
Green Samurai : You dare to face me ?
Asuka : WHO SAID I DARE ?
Sulemoto : -in a very loud voice- ATTAAACKK!

Sulemoto : Take your stance!
Asuka : En garde ! Fight him, don’t be afraid
Ninja A : -creepy laughing-

[Fighting scene]

Sulemoto : Let’s do the exchange now!
Asuka : OK!
Sulemoto : Come to Papa~
Mimitsutsu : You’re not my dad!
Asuka : If you wanna do the exchange, youngin with youngin, why you exchange youngin with..
Ninja P : What is that supposed to mean!
Sulemoto : Well the story is that this Ninja is one of your team!
Asuka : I see, well then do the exchange!
Sulemoto : C’mon one step each!
Asuka : Okay, first step!
Mimitsutsu : I don’t want to be exchanged with him!

Sulemoto : C’mon here, go near me, don’t go near this green samurai guy, he’s dangerous
Green Samurai : Why you the only one who can savor the girls ?
Sulemoto : Say what ? They don’t even want to hug me!
Sulemoto : I’m scolded by the JKT forty..one fans..
Green Samurai : Forty Eight!
Sulemoto : Now Mimi is mine!
Ninja P : Now I’m free!
Sulemoto : You’re a free man now, go wherever you want!
Sulemoto : Stay back Mini!
Mimitsutsu : It’s Mimi , not Mini!

[The casts started to sing their song : “Mimin I love You”]

KH : Stopp! Stopp! Enough!
Green Samurai : Everyone has to be sincere!

[They started to sing “Mencari Alasan” by Exists , A Malaysian Malay-Rock band]

Sulemoto : Wait wait wait, why are you acting like you’re praying while he singing ?
Sulemoto : Anyway, it’s finished ?
KH : Well yeah, if you want to continue then it’s up to you but I’m still the storyteller
Sulemoto : Well don’t! if we continue on and there’s no Commercial Break, who will pay us ?
Green Samurai : But sir, I’m glad that a legend is here with us tonight

[The usual running gag scene where they will blame for any misfortune on the storyteller]

KH : If you want to know the continuation, don’t go anywhere and stay tune on OVJ Live!
Audiences : Yaa-Eee!

[Shows break with Sinden singing “Risalah Hati” by Dewa, a very iconic band in Indonesia, released in 2000. Notice the way Shania sang it in the background]
[Shows starts again with Sinden singing “Pergilah Kasih” by the late Chrisye, a very iconic and legendary figure in Indonesian music industry. Released in 1989]

KH : Asuka chase Suletomo to Iwako’s house, They were planning to finished all the unfinished business they have, so who will win the fight ? Let’s check the stage!

Andre : Nabilah…
Nabilah : Yes Uncle
Andre : Why “Uncle” ?
Nabilah : You’re old!
Andre : Shush! don’t talk about the “old”!
Nabilah : Okay, ‘sup ?

Iwako : You’re my daughter friend right ? what should I do, those ninjas kidnapped her..
Yukita : So I have to say “WOW” to the fact that your daughter is being kidnapped ?
Yukita : Relax uncle, your daughter will be back in no time since my amazing dad is on his way rescuing her. So, she will be OK!
Iwako : So if your Dad is amazing I have to become a boy-scout and yelled “Vote for number 3!” huh ?

[Referencing to the past Jakarta Governor Election voting]

Yukita : Ciyus ? Miapah ? (Refer to the explanation waaay up above)
Iwako : Yuh know omuch mi afraid of mi dawta nah coming bak

[TN : Sorry, I have to replace the way Andre talk with something else than your regular English and I opted for Jamaican…]

Yukita : Well yuh really doan haffi speak like dat an relax, wah dat wey of speaking fah ?

Andre : Wait wait, is this how Japanese people talk ?
Nabilah : Rasta Japan Mon!

[TN : Nabilah actually said “Jepang Gaul Mamen!”]

Andre : Mamen….I have a friend back there named Mamen Pelo’
Andre : Huh ? what ? oh Mamat not Mamen

Iwako : Please, please save my daughter
Yukita : This my first time ever seeing someone older than me begging me for something. How poor you are.
Iwako : Oi, this is just the outside appearance that I looked old
Yukita : While the real you ?
Iwako : Older than what you think.
Iwako : Well yeah, you dad is amazing right ? so please help me, why don’t you phone your dad and told him to come here fast.
Yukita : I’ve got no mobile phone with me
Iwako : You don’t have any mobile phone ? oh well, wait

-picking a fake phone-

Iwako : What’s the number ?
Yukita : 088885-7777-6555
Iwako : Is this a phone number or a Lotto ticket number ? it’s way too long!
Iwako : Hello~
Yukita : You ear, Your ear!
Iwako : Wah gwan~ , wah gwan~
Iwako : Mi Melody’s father, soh is dat ah problem wid yuh !?

KH : ‘Sup ?
Iwako : Just worrying
KH : If there’s nothing happening, then let me talk for a while
KH : Ladies & Gentleman, then came Sulemoto and his trusted aide that able to saved Mimitsutsu
Nabilah : What’s her name ? Mimik ?

Mimitsutsu : PAPAAAAA~~~ [hugging Nabilah]
Yukita : Dear God! Am I really looked that Old to be called “Papa” ?
Yukita : I’m a girl miss, that’s your dad over there
Mimitsutsu : Papaa~
Sulemoto : Nabilah, Nabilah, don’t be naughty, COME TO PAPAH AND MOLEST ME!
Yukita : NO!
Yukita : Now you see! just relax since my dad is amazing!
Sulemoto : Iwako, your daughter is saved and got her self 200 USD!

[TN : Joke lost in translation…sorry…]

Mimitsutsu : You could use the money to pay for your debt Papa!
Sulemoto : Mimi, you go to your Papa, and you Yukita, next to me. While you green samurai, get the hell out from here
Iwako : He doesn’t have any “Daughter”
Green Samurai : What is wrong with me getting close to her (Melody) ?
Sulemoto : You go here *Sound and hands gesture*
Iwako : Remember what Papa said ?
Green Samurai : Yeah ?
Iwako : Don’t be naughty with girls, understood ?
Green Samurai : Yeah..
Iwako : I’ll kick yer ass if you ever done that
Yukita : Papa, you said I’m your only child! when he suddenly become your son ?
Iwako : He’s also one of my child
Green Samurai : I’m your big bro darliing~
Yukita : I don’t want a brother like you!
Green Samurai : That was intended to be a big bro-lil sis hug~
Iwako : Big bro ? you were in vitro!
Green Samurai : Aw come on~
Iwako : Shut up, I’ll slap your face

Ninja A : Uncle coming~
Yukita : OMG, this is so cute man~
Asuka : The hell are you saying ?
Yukita : This is so cute man~
Asuka : “Maaan~”
Iwako : Kuncoro sir, I really thank you
Sulemoto : Kuncoro ? I’m Sami’an!

[Slapping face scene]

Green Samurai : What the hell did I do ? I just stand here like I’m a nobody and I got a full power bitchy slap ?
Green Samurai : The most important thing is that everybody…..HAPPY!

[From here on out, I don’t know whether they still stay on character or revert back to as being the casts]

Andre : Look there look
Nabilah : Whut ?
Sule : Hi JKT48!!

[The girls started to do a hand gesture signaling Nabilah to dance with Sule]

Nabilah : Oh Papa, they told me to mimic your style~
Sule : Oh! Please!
Sule : Oh! oh! the one you did on Japan right ?
Nabilah : Yeah! do it together with me Papa!
Sule : Okay, but before that..COME TO PAPA!
Nabilah : NO!

[Doing that certain weird dance with Gingham Check as the background music]

Nabilah : Sing with me!
Sule : I don’t know that song! Okay okay, so it’s Gi-ing peyek ?

[TN : Reference to Iwak Peyek, look at the translation above about Trio Macan]

[Doing that certain weird dance with Gingham Check..er…Gi-ing Peyek… as the background music]

Sule : COME TO PAPA!!

Andre : OI!OI!OI!OI!
Sule : WAH!WEH!WAH!WEH!
Desta : Mr. Storyteller, please. With English
KH : -speaking Javanese-
Desta : That’s Javanese Sir, not English
Sule : But that’s okay, since it’s a part of Indonesian culture
KH : So they managed to resolve their difference peacefully and the daughters back to their dad. They even do that wacky dance.
Nunung : And after this we will do a quiz for the audiences
Andre : I’m really sorry everyone, but let’s give the vice-regent a time for a short speech

[Referencing to Azis that have some speaking difficulties]

Azis : Andre, the hell is this ?
Andre : Just try it!
Azis : Okay, I w-w-will g-g-give you a reward in the n-n-next segment.
Sule : Don’t go anywhere , stay tune on OVJ LIVE!
Azis : Y-y-y..
ALL : YAAA-EEE~

[Shows break with Sinden singing “Takkan Ada Cinta yang Lain” by Dewa 19. Released in 1994]
[Shows starts again with Sinden singing “Dinda” by Katon Bagaskara. Released in 1995]

[Quiz Segment]

[Baby Baby Baby by JKT48]

[Shows End]