Ganbarena! A Heartfelt Testimonial on the Dreaming Cub
18 June 2013 is a day I may never forget. It was a day for the history books of the 48 Group: An overseas sister group member was elevated to dual team status, in JKT48 and in AKB48. Am I proud? Of course; this achievement is an opportunity for JKT48 to be more recognized in the national and international scene. But what makes me even more proud is that the member receiving the honor is my oshimen, the dreaming bear cub, Rena Nozawa.
As you all know, Rena will become a member of AKB48 in addition to JKT48. This was announced at the conclusion of the Aturan Anti Cinta (Renai Kinshi Jourei) show on 18 June 2013, where she personally informed the audience that she will relocate to Japan permanently. Rena will follow her parents, who plan to settle again in Japan permanently. However, instead of graduating, she will attain dual team status, travelling between Japan and Jakarta to perform with AKB48 and also JKT48.
I was shocked, very shocked. I knew from the beginning that she would not remain in JKT48 forever. Since the first time I saw her profile, which mentioned that she is in Indonesia because of her parents’ occupation, I knew that sooner or later she will have to leave Indonesia. Nevertheless, I chose her as my oshimen.
It’s my choice; it has to have consequences.
Unfortunately, that day came too fast. I didn’t have the opportunity to watch her perform, nor did I have the opportunity to hear her voice, when she made the announcement of her departure. I never had the opportunity of sitting in that show. I had a strange feeling that I absolutely had to watch that evening’s performance. Even as I learned that my waiting list number – 76 – would never be called, I kept hoping that I would be able to watch. I became restless and had an uncomfortable feeling. In my own heart, I asked, “Why do I have to absolutely watch today’s show? What is going on?”
My bad feeling became reality. At a time when I couldn’t watch her, there was the sudden announcement of her relocation. I slumped in my chair as I watched my Twitter timeline, Facebook chat, and LINE chat, all of which informed me that Rena will be moving away. My heart started to race. Even so, I held back my grief. I held back my tears; I tried to stay strong.
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Eventually, I found the chat history of my Facebook group, when I shared with some friends my impressions of having attended Rena’s birthday celebration (seitansai) this past 8 May.
The encore was amazing. It was coordinated by the Renaissance kids. Even though the tempo was pretty fast in the beginning, no one dropped dropped it until the end.
It was so organized.
I still can’t get rid of the image of Rena hugging Haruka, crying her heart out while saying thanks.
Her speech while crying was very mature. I saw a different side of her today.
She said: “I wouldn’t be standing here without all of your support. I wouldn’t have been able to express myself like this a year ago.”
“I’ll work harder to continue moving forward and become more mature.”
Haruka’s letter was also amazing. She saw that Rena works the hardest among all the members in developing herself. She’s a little sister figure to all the members.
“She the most endearing”, said Ayana.
I can’t think of anything else. :’) I still have chills.
—Jovi Dominico, 10:46 p.m.
She might not be an amazing person to some people, but she’s an extraordinary presence in my life, one who can encourage me to keep on moving forward. She might not be perfect, but she makes up for it with effort and a smile. Though I can’t really grasp her presence, she will always keep me moving forward.
—Jovi Dominico, 11:05 p.m.
Even though I’m just chasing a dream, even though we’re just exchanging smiles, it’s enough to make me realize: “Oh, she’s there for my sake. She’s my goal.” She inspires me to keep looking forward and work hard.
—Jovi Dominico, 11:08 p.m.
I hope this is useful sharing for all of you.
She also said, “I always read your Twitter messages. Thanks for supporting me and praying for me. I also want to support you all.”
Make them (your oshi) the reason to move forward and work hard. They might not know you by name, but they’re there.
—Jovi Dominico, 11:12 p.m.
Support them. Make them into one of the many guides to continue your own growth. They can and also want to grow. Do we want to be left behind?
—Jovi Dominico, 11:20 p.m.
As I read my own chat history, remembering her speech that evening, I could no longer hold back my tears. The amount of sadness welled up from not being able to see her make the announcement was unbearable. I cried…all night.
When I woke up in the morning, I realized that I had cried myself to sleep. My eyes are still red and a bit swollen as I write this entry. But all the grief from the previous night is now stored within me. I was able to collect myself, tried to stay strong, and feel calmer now. That’s why I decided to write, to share this story with all of you. I probably don’t have much more to write, as you can see for yourself my feelings toward Rena in the screenshot of my Facebook chat logs above. Everything I want to convey is summarized there.
Yet I have one final item to share.
Rena Nozawa is undoubtedly one of the hardest working members in the group. She never gives up, gives her best effort, and is always energetic. Of course she has her faults, but she attempts to make up for it and remedy it with her effort and smile. For me and for many fans, she is an extraordinary member. Her presence encourages me to keep on living no matter the obstacles to my dream.
Look on the bright side of the situation. Instill in your minds that our hope for Rena is to become one of many to carry the name of JKT48 to the rest of the world through her placement in AKB48. She will not waste this opportunity, the opportunity to “write” a new story overseas. In her own birthday speech she only had a simple hope for herself: Rena wants everyone to see and believe that she has the potential. She has the ability to succeed.
I, and the rest of you, should be proud that she is an extraordinary oshimen. She has become our strength, and we must continue to support her. Although we’ll have fewer opportunities to meet her as she moves to a faraway place, our support will become stronger and more sincere. It’s our turn to say out loud:
“Minna~ GANBARENA!”
Song Title : Missing You
Vocal : Vanessa
Source
Banner Image Courtesy of Jovi Dominico
