JKT48 20130212 Mel’s Update

 

[Heavy Rotation Opening]

Indra Bekti [Host] : Ogenki Desu ka?
Members : Genki Desu!
Indra : Watashi no namae wa Bekkuti desu, yoroshiku onegaishimasu!
Members : Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu
Indra : And here we got “Burestan” – Bubaran Restoran Jepang [TN : Perhaps this could be translated as “Customers after eating in a Japanese Restaurant”]
Indra : Ano, saiki aku harep kenalin diri kalian masing-masing [TN : Javanese dialect using Japanese intonation, get the pun?]
Members : Hai
Indra : Ano, saiki sing jenenge tak panggil, ngacung! [TN : Still Javanese dialect using Japanese intonation]
Indra : Is that Javanese or Japanese?
Audiences : Javanese!
Indra : Hai, Namae wa Jessica Veranda!
Ve : Hai
Indra : Please give her a round of applause, please sit down, anywhere is fine. Next, Nabilah Ratna Ayu!
Indra : Rena Nozawa. Please get in front and please wave to the audiences
Indra : Rezky Wiranti Dhike
Members : *Laugh* [TN : Note that the host is using a hard “E” when calling Dhike’s name instead of using schwa]
Indra : Next, Rica..how to pronounce your name? Rica with K or Rica with Ch ?
Members : Rika! (Rica with K)
Indra : Well then, Rica Leyona!
Indra : Next, Sendy Ariani!
Indra : Shania Junianatha!
Indra : Dear God, so many to call, we gonna spend the entire of our duration just for this.
Indra : Sonya Pandarmawan!
Indra : Ayana Shahab!
Kinal : Not here
Indra : Oh, okay, Beby Chaesara Anadila!
Indra : Cindy Gulla!
Indra : Delima Rizky!
Indra : Devi Kinal Putri!
Indra : Frieska Anastasia!
Indra : Gabriella Margareth!
Indra : Jessica Vania!
[Sonia left on stage]
Indra : (Confused) Anata no namae wa nan desu ka?
Sonia : Sonia Natalia
Indra : Eh? Which one? (confused)
Indra : I’m really sorry, we missed one here~
Indra : Hai Douzo!

Indra : Well, now I will teach you about art. No need to worry as I will teach you many good things! We gonna have a killer teacher here, you will have to be very careful around this woman. She’s is beautiful but unfortunately her legs looks like a football(soccer) player.
Indra : Let’s call our teacher then..Melanie Ricardo!

[Melanie came in]

Indra : Well, see…I wonder if this is a teacher or a *censored*
Mel : Who the hell dare to sit on my favorite chair!

[Frieska and Delima ran away since they who sat on Mel’s chair]

Mel : Well you see, usually in a slapstick comedy, it was nice if a host fell down from her chair. But in my case, if I ever fell down, I’m afraid the stage will split to two.
Mel : Evening girls
Members : Good Evening
Mel : What is “Selamat Malam” in Japanese?
Members : Konbanwa~
Mel : I see “konbanwa”. I know the Chinese for “Good Evening”, well “Hello” is “Ni hao ma” and Evening is *censored*
Indra : OI!

Mel : Well, this is JKT48
Indra : “Empat puluh delapan” [TN : 48 in Indonesian]
Mel : Which is the right one? “JEKATE48′ or “JEKATE EMPAT PULUH DELAPAN” ?
Members : “JKT48!” (Spelling in English)
Mel : Are you girls foreigners? JKT48 (Spelling in English)
Indra : That’s how it is!
Mel : Well, my husband is a foreigner but he even said it “JEKATE EMPAT PULUH DELAPAN”
Mel : But, these girls are amazing. I was once on the same stage as them, as I’m also a singer~
Indra : Boo!
Indra : You know her song? “Player”?
Mel : -singing-
Indra : You know?
Members : No…
Mel : Wait, wait, perhaps they know the chorus
Mel : -singing-
Indra : They don’t know the song! *laugh*
Indra : Ma’am, they don’t know ma’am.
Mel : Well…so back to the story, I’m on stage and I have around 480 of my fans on that shared venue. But compared to them, they got at least 1230 of their fans on the venue! You girls are downright amazing!
Mel : What is your fans calling themselves honey?
Members : JKT48 fans
Mel : I see
Indra : So now we will talk about many things with Jay Kitty members.
Mel : Jay Kitty!? J-K-T! Are you talking about them or “Hello Kitty”?
Indra : So, for JAY-KAY-T , since when the formation of the group?
Kinal : November 2nd, 2011
Indra : So you girls is based on a Japanese group right? Japan also got one like this right?
Members : Yes
Mel : So Japan got something like this, so I heard that someplace..
Members : Shanghai
Mel : Yes, Shanghai also got one. We also got one on Duren Sawit [TN: A street name]
Indra : OI!
Mel : I meant in a lot of place. Please enlighten me, is this a franchise like a fried chicken one?
Shania : Well, we are indeed AKB48 sister group. 48 Family.
Indra & Mel : Sister Group? Okay.
Shania : So like in Japan, they got AKB48 and..
Indra : What is AKB stands for?
Shania : Akihabara
Indra : And Akihabara is?
Shania : A district in Japan
Indra & Mel : I see
Shania : They also got SKE48, NMB48, HKT48. And now AKB48 opened their branch here in Indonesia.
Indra & Mel : I see
Indra : So what is the requirements to be a member in JKT48?
Mel : I think they need someone with a smooth white skin.
Members : No! Not really!
Mel : Or having a Japanese-like face . And they needed to be feminine or else it wouldn’t be JKT48
Indra : but?
Mel : TML48, Taman Lawang 48 [TN: Taman Lawang is a pretty well known place for underground transvestite prostitution]
Mel : Well, from the way I see it, seems like yes, a smooth white skin and Japanese-like face.
Indra : So what is the requirements?
Kinal : Well the main requirements is age, 13 to..
Mel : You got an audition?
Members : Yes
Kinal : 18
Shania : The first generation age requirement is 13-20. But now we got the 2nd generation and their age requirement is 13-18.
Mel : I see! So there’s really a 2nd generation?
Members : Yes
Mel : Wow..
Indra : Eh, but I heard you girls are not allowed to have a boyfriend?
Members : Nope
Kinal : Nope, it’s a part of the golden rules.
Indra : No Boyfriend? I feel sorry for you girls!
Mel : Wait wait wait, I mean you’re an all girls group so..although it is possible for you to fall in love with your friends in the group..
Indra : *laugh*
Mel : Well, it could be! You are not even allowed to have a romantic relationship even outside of the group?
Members : Nope
Mel : So all of you now single?
Members : Yes
Ve : So as long as we are JKT48 members…
Mel : No romantic relationship?
Members : Nope
Mel : Are you kidding me?
Members : Nope *laugh*
Mel : MY POOR CHILDREN!!!
Members : *laugh*
Indra : So you have 48 members?
Shania : 52
Indra : 52 !? I don’t see any 52 members here
Jeje : Well, we don’t want to destroy the stage so…
Indra : I see
Mel : So, you don’t need all the members for each show?
Members : Nope
Jeje : 12 or 16 is enough
Indra : So now we have some updates about JKT48, let’s go and look!
Indra : JKT48 – We are Nothing Without The Fans
Mel : So let’s see what kind of fans do they have, since as far as I know, the last time I saw the fans mainly consist of males. And when the girls is on stage with their mini skirt, all those guys were screaming like “KYAAAA”
Members : *laugh*
Mel : And so does Bekti fans, when he’s on stage, all of his fans were screaming “DEMOOON!”
Indra : OI!
Indra : Don’t go anywhere and stay tune!

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Indra : We have the topic before about..oh! wait, let’s see the girls with the headbands!
Mel : Wait..wait..sorry…maybe all the JKT48 girls also realized this but…Dear our show crew, can I have an umbrella every time Indra is here with me? Every time he talks, he saliva going everywhere…God help us..
Members : *laugh*
Mel : Isn’t that right girls?
Members : Yes
Mel : SEE!
Indra : Aw come on..
Members : It’s a blessing
Indra : See! Even teenagers like them knew about it!
Mel : It’s not about how his saliva wet my hands sweetheart, it’s the SMELL!
Members : *laugh*
Mel : Okay, let’s talk with JKT48 first, they got a very tight schedule it took me 6 years before they say their “Yes” for this show!
Indra : What a lie!
Indra : The last topic is about how they are nothing without the fans. What do you think about it?
Mel : Let’s say..Panda (Sonya)
Sonya : We have the concept of growing together with the fans so like how we first don’t know how to dance or sing, the fans is there to support us so that we could know how to do both things. Growing up together.
Mel : So is there any reason why your hysterical fans consist of mainly males?
Sonya : Well…we are girls to begin with…*laugh*
Ve : But lately we also got a lot of female fans actually
Mel : I kinda afraid of something…well..JKT48 got a helluva lot of fans…, this is a talk between us musician okay.
Indra : You? Musician?
ALL : *laugh*
Mel : Shut up. So, like CherryBelle, there’s even a cult naming CherryBelle as their religion. They are so really in love with the group, they think of the group as a God. Is there any worries that your fans will ended up like that?
Jeje : That was scary..
Shania : I have the most sincere trust that our fans knows how to separate (their idol life and personal life)
Indra : I see, so now, we have one more update about these girls. “Ayana JKT48 could sleep for 22 hours”
Mel : Sleep or comatose ?
ALL : *laugh*
Indra : What’s her name?
Members : Ayana
Indra : Which one is Ayana?
Members : Not here
Indra : I see, I bet she’s sleeping now
Members : Yes!
Indra : Can anyone of you explain why she could sleep that long?
Members : It is her hobby!
Mel : Wait wait..if a girl sleep that long, it doesn’t matter if you ate a chocolate or whatever. The thing that matter the most is with whom do you spend the night with
ALL : WHOA!
Mel : For an example, for an example, to sleep with your cute little sister.
Indra : Or perhaps with her bolsters
Mel : Just make sure that the bolsters doesn’t speak
Mel : So then, JKT48. Is there any pressure for you girls? Like how AKB48 is such a success in Japan, you girls got any pressure to do the same with your sisters?
Indra : Maybe those who sit behind could answer?
Mel : ‘Scuse me, you girls are also a part of JKT48 right?
Members : *laugh*
Indra : Let’s say, Beby?
Beby : Since we are AKB48 sister group, we also have this responsibility to try our best to become like them.
Indra : I see but uh…are you girls known pretty well in Japan?
Beby : I’m not really sure but we have performed together along with our sister groups there.
Mel : WOW!
Indra : Amazing, they have perform in Japan and on their way to “Go international.”
Mel : Is there any plan to go to Japan again?
Members : No, no plan yet.
Mel : Please lemme know, I missing my twin a lot in Japan
Members : Who?
Shania : Doraemon?
Mel : You don’t know? I have a twin who lives in Japan. Indonesia one is Melanie, Japanese one is Miyabi. [TN : Please don’t ask me why they censored “Miyabi” there…]
ALL : *laugh*

Indra : Wait, we got one call from a JKT48 fans
Mel : Evening
Indra : Konnichiwa..I mean Konbanwa
Marcel : Hello ?
Mel : Evening
Marcel : Evening
Mel : With whom am I talking right now?
Marcel : My name?
Mel : Yes, your name
Marcel : I forgot my own name
Indra : Huh? What the?
Mel : Well okay, let’s keep your name a secret. Let’s say your name is Adi..
Marcel : Yeah?
Mel : Let’s play another round of football(soccer) [TN : This is a nod to a government ads which uses the same catchphrase back in the 90’s]
Members : *laugh*
Indra : Which one is your favorite member?

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Mel : Which one is your favorite member?
Marcel : I Love Ve!
ALL : -Teasing Ve-
Ve : Thank you ♥
Mel : Why Ve?
Marcel : I’ve met with all of them but the only one who melted my heart is Ve
ALL : WHOOOAAA!
Ve : Thank you ♥
Indra : Ve, do you know who is on the other line of the phone?
Ve : No
Mel : He said that he loves JKT48, but the only one who could melted his heart is Ve… Vesek [TN : Pesek –> Pug nose]
Members : *laugh*
Marcel : Can I talk to Ve for a while?
Mel : Yes of course Adi.
Marcel : Hello Ve
Ve : Yes Hello~
Marcel : I know that you have a lot of birds cage at home
Mel : Tell him “How did you know?”
Ve : How did you know?
Marcel : Well it’s obvious, I’m caught in your cage of heart
ALL : WOOHOOO!
Ve : Okay….
Mel : So sweeet!
Indra : Well then, Ve, which actor do you like? [TN : She actually said “Star” here not actor]
Ve : Someone in secret *laugh*
Mel : Come on be honest, I really like Kaka from Slank and Indra is a big fan of Mpo Nori.
Indra : WHAAA? [TN : Mpo Nori is a senior actress]
Ve : In Indonesia?
Mel : Yes
Ve : Music?
Mel : Well..anything
Indra : I heard you like twins?
Mel : Male twins particularly
Ve : Yes..
Indra : Then who?
Ve : No, no, I.. I just love to see twins. Like “Wow, twins, how cute”
Mel : I know who! Daus Mini! [TN : Daus Mini is an actor and comedian. His height is only 3 foot tall]
Ve : Who is that?
Members : *laugh*
Indra : He’s a twin with a fruit bag
Jeje : More like a soy sauce bottle
ALL : *laugh*
Mel : OI!
Indra : JEJE! Camera! camera! zoom on her face please!
[Hilarity ensues on the stage]
Indra : Okay Ve, I heard you like someone with the initial “M” , is that true?
Jeje : *laugh*
Indra : Okay, now we already have Marcel on the phone! Hello Marcel!
Ve and the girls : KYAAA
Indra : Hello Marcel how are you?
Ve : Uh oh..
Marcel : I’m fine. Ve, I will wait for you in three years. Will you marry me when that time comes?
Ve : Huh? *laugh* Okay…♥ * embarrassed*
Mel : Marcel you playboy, you have (a gossip with) Jessica Iskandar and now you want Jessica Veranda. Who’s next? Melanie Ricardo?
Indra : Oi…you’re not even on his list
Indra : Ve, how do you feel getting a call from Marcel?
Mel : Why do you like Marcel?
Indra : Why not his twin brother?
Mel : Tyson is cute [TN : Her foreigner husband, once getting caught queued for JKT48 ticket]
Members: *laugh*
Ve : Well..his acting is good and I once caught a glimpse of him when I’m still in Junior High School. I was amazed at how tall he is. And well..I really loves twins. That’s how it is *shy-shy*
Indra : That’s the story Marcel!
Mel : Thank you Marcel! Say your hello to your dad sweetheart and please tell him that your soon to be daughter in law is currently working here.
Ve : Aaaaaah…..
Indra & Mel : Bye Marcel!
Marcel : *(834h13uf*&( [TN : The signal reception is really bad]
Mel : Wait what?
Marcel : *(834h13uf*&(
Mel : Oh, okay okay. *whispering* the hell is he talking about?
[Hilarity ensues]
Ve : Awww… [TN : Shy-shy mode continues]
Marcel : My request is that the next time JKT48 is in your show, please do invite me too..
Mel : Oh okay okay understood. Next time JKT48 is here, I’m gonna invite you too. And *censored*
Indra : Bye Marcel!
Mel : Who does it have to be Marcel if it was for twins? Bekti also have a twin, under his pants.
Indra : …
Mel : Don’t go anywhere, stay tune on Mel’s update!

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[Aming, a comedian came up on stage, but I swear I don’t understand a single thing he said after the song ends]
Aming : Jakarta Empat Delapan or more well know as Jakarta Forty Eight
Sendy : JKT48!
Aming : Wait what?
Members : JKT48!
Aming : JAY-KAY-T *laugh*
Aming : I’m sorry, I’m really sorry
Aming : Okay, JAY-KAY-T 48, And now we are here with one of their members, Sendy Ariani, give her a round of applause!
Aming : Sendy, born in August 12th, 1993. Was born on a very comfy bed and helped by a birth shaman!
Members : *laugh*
Aming : Accompanied by her dad and her birth was welcomed by a swarm of termites. Okay are you ready? *laugh*
Aming : Are you ready with questions from me?
Sendy : Ready
Aming : Okay choose one, Debus show or magic show?
Sendy : Magic
Aming : Pacifier or thumb?
Sendy : Thumb
Aming : Drooling or picking your nose?
Sendy : Drooling
Aming : Brush your teeth or wipe your ass?
Sendy : Brush your teeth
Aming : Bean sprouts or cassava leaves?
Sendy : Bean sprouts
Aming : *censored* or *censored* [TN : Reading his lips : Voyeurism or watching pr0n?]
Sendy : *censored*
Aming : He broke you up or you broke him up?
Sendy : He broke me up.
Aming : Awesome, it seems like Sendy loves a magician who like to suck his thumb and drooling rather that brushing his teeth. Sendy never forget to eat her portion of bean sprouts while watching people making love since all of her boyfriends leaves her. Thank you! don’t go anywhere and stay tune on Mel’s Update!

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Mel : Let’s play a little game shall we
Indra : Right! The game called “Sell your friends out!”
Mel : That’s is so wrong in many cases. The name is “Who is the most”
Indra : Ah that’s the name! “Who is the most”!
Mel : -frustrated-
Indra : Let’s start “Who is the most”!
Mel : Let’s repeat that shall we, Can I ask for a Doraemon’s gadget sounds effect?
Indra : Let’s start “Who is the most”!
Mel : Doraemon, my name is Shizuka
Indra : Shizuka ?
Mel : Yes, Shizuka’s face with Jaian’s body.
ALL : *laugh*
Indra : Just point your finger to the one you think the most..
Mel : Beautiful!
[Members pointing each other]
Mel & Indra : Oh! Nabilah!
Mel : Who is the most annoying!
Sendy : (with microphone) Sonya
ALL : *Laugh*
Mel : Why are you the most annoying Sonya? (Talking to SONIA)
Members : Wrong wrong not her, Panda Panda
Indra : Okay Sendy, why Panda?
Sendy : Well, when she’s applying her make-up, she moved her body everywhere while still sitting
Indra : I see
Mel : Next! Who is the most on time with her schedule!
Members : SHANIA!
Indra : Okay, Shania, let’s say she have a schedule at 8 AM. She arrived at the venue at what time?
Nabilah : Usually 7 AM *laugh*
Kinal : There’s this one time she even arrived at 5 AM
Members : *laugh*
Mel : Totally contradict with her song. Santai (Relax) [TN: A 90 song sung by SANIA]
Members : ??
Mel : No one here knows her. Different generation already *laugh*
Indra : Next question…who is the most hard to please!
Members : RENA!
Indra : Why is she the most hard to please?
Members : JAIERUH(@#%&OGF [ALL Talking at the same time ]
Sendy : Her hair gotta be in the perfect shape left and right
Members : She spent 30 minutes just to make sure that her mascara done right!
Jeje : She uses three layers of face powder!
Indra : Goodness gracious!
Rena : No!..No!..No!..No!
Mel : Okay Next!
Indra : Who is the most smelly!
Members : No one!
Indra : Be honest!
Members : No one!
Mel : Maybe not armpits, but other parts like leg or something
Members : No one!
Indra : Okay no one, Who fart the most!
Members : NABILAH! SONYA! SONYA! SONYA!
Indra : Panda….you are cute but…
Sonya : No!..No!..No!..No! [TN : Rena looked so happy here, revenge is sweet huh Rena ]
Kinal : She sometimes doesn’t even realized she had just farted!
Indra : Okay, the last. Who is the most bossy!
Members : ….
Mel : No one, they were afraid of some cat fights on the way back home
Indra : *laugh* Give your round of applause!
Mel : Let’s give JKT48 a round of applause one more time!
Mel : Young teenagers with a lot fans. I hope JKT48 will never see any breakup in the future, amen!
Members : Amen!
Indra : Success for all of you. What is the Japanese word for success? Ganbatte!
Members : Yes Yes Yes [TN : Sendy’s Jikou]
Sonya : Ganbatte is the same thing as “Semangat”
Indra : Oh I see. Okay, Ganbatteee!
Members : (Awkwardly) Yes! Yes! Yes! *laugh* [TN : Sendy’s Jikou again]
Mel : Let’s try it, if I say “Apa Kabar” you girls answered with “Luar Biasa” [TN : Apa Kabar -> How are You? , Luar Biasa -> Extra Ordinary]
Mel : Apa Kabar?
Members : Luar Biasa!
Mel : You girls doing great as some -insurance sales on a TV show-.
ALL : *laugh*
Indra : Seems like the girls know who you are talking about
Mel : *laugh* , okay then, thank you JKT48!

[JKT48 with Baby! Baby! Baby!]

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YouTube video courtesy of JKT48FansID